SUPERHEROES AND JUST HEROES EDITION,PART ONE

The biggest sporting spectacle on earth has begun,the world cup commences with every competing nation striving to live up to the expectations(often times irrational expectations) of the their people and usually winds down with a sporting witch hunt that minus the spectacle of public beheadings,would not have been out of place in the dark ages.The reality check on nations’ aspirations always seems to surprise,bruise and injure the respective nation’s ego more efficiently than a mugger in New York City.We going to take a look at each team’s chances but each team will be reviewed as the superhero or just plain hero they best embody.

GERMANY-IRON MAN

The man behind the machine like suit is Tony Stark,a man endowed with genius level intellect,a highly proficient engineer,scientist and a wealthy entrepreneur,He has an impregnable suit of armor,a vast array of technologically advanced weapons at his disposal and leads the way in the advancement of military technology.He however remains unlovable and prone to imploding at crucial times.

“my old man had a philosophy,peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy”-TONY STARK

BRAZIL-THOR

The Norse god of thunder,capable of manipulating weather storm elements,has superhuman strenght(son of a goddess) and is immune to all earthly diseases(talent droughts,low confidence,mediocre aspirations).Carries a magical hammer(Neymar) which he expertly uses to subdue foes.In the world cup his biggest threat will be his half human genealogy coming to the fore(less gifted players than previous teams) and misplacing their hammer.

ARGENTINA-SUPERMAN

Clark Kent has above human level strength,speed,x-ray vision and is invulnerable.A seemingly unbeatable opponent,he has one weakness…KRYPTONITE(Lionel Messi in an Argentinian jersey)

SPAIN-MERLIN

Wizardry,enchanting attributes and mystical,somewhat vague wisdom that inspire,bewilder,enrage and bore in equal measure.A seemingly frail looking magician who believes he is the keeper,protector and the only disciple of the one true path.Can this aged wizard continue to defy the more hawkish adversaries?

ENGLAND-THE PINK PANTHER/ INSPECTOR CLOUSSEAU

An endearing,inept,clumsy,incompetent but zealous character who despite his numerous flaws manages to not only compete intensely but to spectacularly build up an immense reputation,and somehow bungle his way to near achievement.Expect the insane,the joyous, the ludricous and flashes of genius,anything and everything can happen with this hero.

PORTUGAL-THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN

The highly developed,ambitious,superior being(RONALDO) teams up with his more humble side kick Pinky as they attempt to redeem themselves by trying to take over the world.Brain’s own arrogance and the impossibility of his plans and pure misfortune ultimately leaves their plans draped in failure

“once we conquer the world,we are on our way to fame and fortune and a world that’s a better place for all”-BRAIN

A statement Ronaldo would be proud to proclaim.

CAMEROON-THE SMURFS

Another Cameroonian world cup campaign and another timely strike action,grumpy smurf,greedy smurf,vanity smurf,jokey smurf,this Cameroon outfit is perfect for a few laughs.They have within their ranks enough talent to turn what would otherwise be a wonderful comedic experience into a bittersweet tragedy.Sadly they are lacking a Papa Smurf to redirect their talents into positive endeavour .

IVORY COAST-THE INCREDIBLE HULK

A manic explosion of power,strength and skill waiting to happen,Bruce Banner had to lose his temper before his alter ego could be unleashed  on helpless foes,sadly this Hulk seems all too understanding,patient and docile.The question heading into the competition is what will it take for the immense potential to be released,this represents the last chance saloon for most on this team.

JAPAN-NARUTO

Naruto is the adolescent ninja who constantly searches for recognition,endowed with skills and elaborate powers that make for delightful viewership but he otherwise does not strike fear into the hearts of his opponents.A worthy opponent..but Naruto’s search will continue.

FRANCE-CAPTAIN PLANET

Captain Planet is summoned when the planeteers combine all five earthly powers to create a super strong,gravity defying,sleek all conquering figure.He seems impervious to defeat..yet he has one weakness,he is subdued by pollution,rendered powerless.A fragile yet dominating figure capable of the brutishly sublime and the absurdly mediocre.

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